ANGER MANAGEMENT 101
by Chibi-Nemesis
Summary: The street fighter's have been taken to anger management school. will they get along? will anyone fall in love-or will they rip each others throats? read and see (oh, and review please!)
1. Default Chapter

ANGER MANAGEMENT 101 

PROLOGUE-HOW THEY ENDED UP IN ANGER MANAGEMENT SCHOOL 

Ryu had no idea where that giant anvil had come from. The only thing he knew was that, in the depths of a Japanese forest-they don't just drop outta the sky, or trees for that matter. He has become imbedded in the soft muddy floor of the forest, and was promptly struck unconscious by a bunch of people in black ninja suits. 

Ken had been abducted, in broad daylight, from his car while waiting for the traffic lights to turn green.

He knew he hadn't any change for that car window cleaner but MAN HAVE THEY GOTTEN VICIOUS LATELY!

Chun-li was abducted at a ladies underwear apartment in London, where she was suffocated with chloroform and a pair of knickers! "Thank god they were clean one's!" she thought as she fell unconscious. ("But can she be so sure? Eewww! Lol (_^)

(Oh of course they were clean- I would never do something so vulgar to Chun-li! (_~)

Cammy was taken during an army exercise. She had be able to fight off the 20 or so abductees that swarmed her, but it was the fact she forgot about that big hole in the ground behind her that was her undoing. It wasn't the falling in that had bruised her, more the fact that her abductees peered down at her and laughed at her that really bruised her!

Dee-Jay, what a tragedy!!! And he honestly thought someone was just throwing him a 12-inch record while Dj-ing in his little shop. But how he could have mistaken a 40 foot wrecking ball for a record is beyond me…(me thinks he should get glasses! (_^)

Fei-long…(*tut tut tut*…(_0) I guess he had a reasonable excuse. When you work in the movie industry it can be confusing knowing the difference between reality and fiction.

But it was Saturday

And he wasn't at work

And when you are in a supermarket and someone threatens to bash your head in with a stone cold turkey FOR GOD'S SAKE DON'T stand there and do what the hero's do in the movies-saying some catchy pun and then kick their head in, slow motion style-because in real life they don't wait for you to finish, THEY GET IN FIRST!!!

(Again- * tut tut tut *)

E.Honda, you damn damn fool! I know hunger can be blinding, but FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!

Yes I understand that some restaurants do hold "free meal" days. (Aka roadrunner cartoons)

And yes I understand that the waiter may look a little hairy and dog-like (aka road runner cartoons)

And yes I understand that they do serve huge turkeys. (Err-well I think they appear in the roadrunner cartoons)

BUT WHEN THAT TURKEY IS STUFFED WITH TNT STICKS OF DINAMITE…

(Of the ACMETM CO-ORPERATION "blow that bird straight to hell…with a ssssmmmmile 0_~) 

YOU JUST DON'T TOUCH IT OK!?

Deary deary me…

Blanka, oh my poor baby! This one honestly didn't see it coming. He was up a tree at the time. A tranquilliser hit him. He kinda got his revenge although. The abductees we stupid enough to stand RIGHT UNDER the tree when the big green fighter fell. It was 3 hours before they could pry the flattened bodies from underneath Blanka.

Guile, you are an idiot. You've been married for-how long? 

                                       You've known your daughter for-how long?

How you could mistake Kylie Minogue for your daughter…

And JEAN CLAUDE VAM DAMME for your WIFE?!?!

(Another mis-cast, but did anyone notice? YES! EXCEPT ANYONE or anything affiliated with Capcom, until it was too late!). The really funny thing was that when the abductees came along they got sooo confused and took Kylie Minogue! (yep, they were from the De souza school of casting!)

(LOL (_^ )

They realised their mistake and killed Van Damme.

Then they took Guile.

("I feel sorry for Van Damme-they should have killed De Souza! (_0)

Zangief-I guess muscle replaces your brain in your head huh? Again, this was a case of mistaken identity. As we all know. Zangief wrestles bears for fun. (Just the kinda person you'd want in your pet shop huh!) But since when do bears have huge gun-like barrels in their paws? Trust Zangief to take a closer look! And he still stood there bewildered when gas began emanating from them. You know the rest.   

Dhalsim. Man-does this scenario have a real twist in the tale! Dhalsim was just meditating when a guy in a black ninja suit came outta nowhere and stole his gold cow statue! Dhalsim, being so stretchy and all, decided to try and catch this critter by forming a net like structure with his bendy limbs all around the temple. He would keep his left arm free to try and catch the little b'stard. But of course, he managed to get this arm tangled up in his right leg. So he used his right arm to try and catch him, but the little b'stard was quick and agile, and so Dhalsim managed to get his left arm caught up in his right leg. As a last, desperate attempt to catch that git, he decided to use his teeth and so stretched his neck. The ninja jumped right to the top of the temple, and then dropped down, perfectly managing to wrap Dhalsims head around his body, so he literally had his head almost up his own arse ("excuse my crudeness" (_~ ). Dhalsim tried to hide his embarrassment, and the abductee's tried to hide their laughter as they carried off the ball of human flesh.

T.Hawk was communicating with his people when he was struck. Standing on top of the mountain miles away from his tribe he was reading their smoke signals. The part of his tribe who sent him these smoke signals was psychic, and often warned him of future events. So he was waiting for messages from his tribe, and he got one, it read…

H…esbeh…indyo…u…

He stood there for moments wondering what the hell they had been saying.

"Hhhmmmm…h…esbeh…indyo…u?" he knew that the wind had played part in messing up the letters and so took this into account…

"H…esbeh…indyo…u…h…esbeh…indyo…u…"

He realised what they had been trying to say-

"OH! HE'S BEHIND YOU!!"

**`WACK`**

And off to coo coo land went T.Hawk

Balrog, oh, now here's where it gets really depressing. While on mission Balrog had run into the abductees. This is a guy who, even considering his missing teeth, really HAS more teeth than brain cells. While fighting his opponents in this weird maze he managed to trap an unsuspecting fellow who has a very long neck and a squashed little face. After bashing his head against this fellow a couple of times, he began to get woozy. He noticed that his opponent was also on the brink of unconsciousness so he continued. Moments later Balrog was on the floor, panting for breath. And so was his opponent.

"Huh, think I'm gonna let you get away huh?" 

He gave the guy a couple more head bangs, and then fell on the floor unconscious.

So did his opponent.

And the people who ran that mirror maze at that fun fair were NOT going to be happy so see some idiot had broken their mirror!

Vega. Oh Vega. You are my favourite. But like the others you can also be stupid. Vega, as we all know, likes looking in the mirror. He does it every day. So you would have thought when he was standing opposite Britney Spears in a door way he would have noticed that it wasn't him. And you would have thought he would have caught on when his "reflection" was holding a huge frying pan. But nope, not our Vega! ("Quit rubbing it in nemesis!"). Fortunately she did not do any harm, well she couldn't really could she? After all he's like, 10x stronger than her. Luckily his vanity has left him thick skulled.

("NEMESIS!"…"Hey sweetie-I like you that way!" `**smooooooccchhhhhhh` "**oh yuck nemesis!")

He was dragged off by the abductees, conscious, kicking and screaming with a huge lump on his head. The abductees paid Britney a huge amount of money, and she skipped of happily.

(Lets face it-she's doing it ALL for the money right?)

Sagat: you see I can relate to this guy, having only one eye and all. But bless his little heart! Sagat is really, deep down a good honest man! He is also a strict fighter. He has never smoked and only drinks the minimal amount of alcohol. So it was unfortunate that the alcohol had knocked him out.

Oh no, his drink was not spiked or anything.

A Heineken truck hit him! 

M.Bison: now, this guy's got "psycho power" and all, so you wouldn't think this guy would be easy to capture, right?

WRONG! Our abductees knew it was gonna be a little harder getting this guy unconscious. So they ran into shadowlaw, ran right into his room, screamed "tag-your it!" and ran back off. Of course Bison followed. But they forgot he could teleport, and so he appeared right in front of them. But luckily they had already reached the gas station.  

Now, the one thing you don't do is light any sparks at a gas station.

Becoming a great big spark is a no-no. 

Doing anything remotely sparkly is a no-no.

So, of course, when Bison did his "psycho crusher" into the abductees hiding in the gas station he literally "set the night on fire!"

He had realised his mistake, 2 seconds too late that is.

The blow was enough to render the great fighter unconscious.

And as for the abductees?

All I can say is…KFC! (Krispy fried c**ts)

(mmmmmmm…KFC…err, I mean S.T.A.R.S!)

All the fighters had gained consciousness when they awoke in the "rooms" of the anger management mansion. (A bit like Xavier's x-men school for the gifted) ready to begin their lessons.

They had no idea who there lecturers were

They had no idea where they were

They had no idea what was in store!

Next time-day 1 at anger management school. 

(I hope no one was offended by my portrayal of the fighters. I KNOW they are not really this stupid-but for the sake of this fan fiction this is what happened ok! Good. (_^)


	2. First day at anger management school

ANGER MANAGEMENT 101 

Part 2

So the fighters, for the moment, were in holding cells at the anger management mansion. Many of the cells were identical, with the exception of Vega's, Cammy's and Bison's. Vega's cell was actually a padded cell. He was dressed to `Not` kill in a straight jacket, those hockey masks for the dangerous (think "silence of the lambs" people), attached to those wheelie like things they use to move those people about with.

Cammy's hands were tied behind her back with huge chains to a stonewall. It was feared she might also go psycho. 

M.Bison looked like a caterpillar cocoon wrapped in plastic as he was stapled to the wall of his plastic cell, so as to protect everyone from his electric self. 

0_0-Bison

(The would have put Blanka in such a cell too-but "they" trusted him)

Everyone could hear the sounds of footsteps approaching, their attentions turning to the doorway as a tall figure dressed in black with a hood covering its face entered. Behind her came a swarm of 7 foot guards dressed in white monk-like uniform, to which they attacked the cells, unlocking them and dragged the fighters out (which the exception of Vega, who they weelied out).

The fighters moaned and complained as they were led down a huge corridor, with one big window on its left wall, which suggested that this place was stationed above a rainforest. They all turned to look, and it kept them quiet, as they were lead into a library-like room.

The ceiling of this room had a big beautiful painting on it, of fantasy creatures and pink clouds against a blue sky. The floor was plush dark pink carpeted, and there was a huge oak table in the centre where the fighters we sat.

The hooded figure revealed herself. And she was **DUHN DUHN DUHNNNNNN!!!!**

THE CHIBI NEMESIS (yes I'm sorry, but I just had to be part of this fanfic ok!!!)

The chibi nemesis, however, was not so chibi in this fanfic. She did have a stitched up eye and costume of the original nemesis, but the other side of her face was that of a normal, hazel-eyed black haired British girl. She had a full head of hair, and it covered her stitched eye for the moment.

"Welcome fighters. You are probably wondering why you have been bought here. Well, that's because you all have BEHAVIORAL PROBLEMS!!! Throughout your stay here you will be taught how to behave properly, and we will discover the reason for your condition. When you are well, you will be released and another fighter on our reserve list will be bought to take your place!

(Yes people, expect MORE deranged street fighters to join this fanfic!!!) 

Protest incurred.

" BUT I DON'T HAVE ANY BEHAVIORAL PROBLEMS!!!" said T.Hawk

"NEITHER DO I!!!" said Dhalsim

The chibi nemesis looked at her list…

"Hhhmmm…well, you may not be as serious as the others, but it has been established that you do have minor problems with controlling your tempers."

"Oh rubbish-" said ken. "Look, I know those shadowlaw people-(at ken)*…*-(Balrog, Vega, Sagat, Bison-oh and Cammy too for some reason), may have a few problems but at least me and Ryu are perfectly fine, so if you will just let us-"

"ON THE CONTARY!" 

"It has been seen that RYU has the worst case of behavioural disorder out of ALL the street fighters!"-(_0

"WHAT??????" screamed Ryu

"Don't try and hide it Ryu! We have records of many accounts when you have been outrageously violent"

"PROVE IT!"

"OK! Lets start at the beginning. Firstly your catch phrase says it all!"

0_0?????-Ryu

"THE FIGHT IS ALL! C'mon, you wouldn't hear a Nun saying that would you? Its obvious your violent-that says it all-"

"BUT-"

"And there is your occupation…YOU TRAVEL THE WORLD LOOKING FOR A FIGHT!"

"But-but…

"Even Bison seems in better mental health than you. He may be violent, but he has a job-his own business in fact…"

"HE RUNS A CRIMINAL ORGANISATION FOR HEAVENS SAKE!"

"Yes-but he RUNS it! He has put his occupation before his own raging desires and is in a steady job! What do you do? Go around beating up people for their money-"

"Hey, I get into ORGANISED FIGHTS! I don't just go around beating up people for their money; I'm not some kind of criminal! Anyway, what about Vega? He's bonkers upstairs-"

"Yes but he has found a proper outlet for his anger…"

"THOUGH ASSASSINATIONS????"

"Its still a job-an outlet"

_-Ryu

"And what about Sagat's chest-did you REALLY need to do that? Could you not control yourself?"

"But what about…uummm…"

"OH GIVE IT UP RYU, SHE'S GOT YOUR NUMBER!" Screamed Chun-li, who had had enough of this conversation.

"Yeah buddy, I have to admit she argues a pretty good case. I think you really DO need help!" said ken as he laid a hand on Ryu's shoulder, to which Ryu shot a glare at Ken that could scare even Akuma.

"Its obvious you need attention. As do all of you-that's why you're here. Now, we are going to split you up into groups and take you to the workshops where you will be working with other people (other famous video game characters) who had the same problems you all had, but, through working with us, overcame their problems."

All the fighters face-faulted as their groups were read out.

"Group 1                      "Group 2 are                  and group 3 are

Ryu                               T.Hawk                        Chun-li

Blanka                           Sagat                           Cammy

Dhalsim                         E.Honda                       Vega

DeeJay                          Ken masters                  and M.Bison"-(_^

Fei-Long                        Zangief

And Guile                      and Balrog"

So with groans and grunts, the fighter were lead off to different rooms to begin their "treatment".

Next time on ANGER MANAGEMENT 101-

NEW ARRIVALS!

AND GIRLS VS BOYS IN THE WORKSHOPS!

Who will win, 

who will lose,

who will keep their sanity, 

who will lose it, 

who will fall in love, 

and who will go on a killing spree! 

(I'm looking at you, Vega!

^_^-Vega)

All will be revealed in the next exciting episode of  ANGER MANAGEMENT 101!

(p.s-I'm really paranoid about this chapter-please r&r and tell me if I'm going wrong somewhere!


	3. The groups are established

Anger management 101 chapter 3 

So the fighters had been taken off to 3 separate rooms, to meet their first 3 teachers. (From other videogames, if you had forgotten!!!). So group 1 were taken to a sports hall and instructed to wait for their teacher.

Group 2 were taken to a small playing field that was cut off from the forest. The sky was cloudy and completely grey, so they were allowed to wait in the shelter for their instructor.

Group 3 were taken to a small beige coloured room with 5 chairs and a huge window. They were also instructed to wait (which was a concoction for disaster!). 

Group 2 saw their teacher first (group 2 being T.Hawk, Sagat, E.Honda, Ken, Zangief and Balrog). Their instructor was none other than DUHNNN DUHNNN DUHNNN…THE NEMESIS!!!!! (aka Gary).

Group 3 saw their instructor; he was none other than Tekken's JIN KAZUMA.

(Chibi Nemesis faints!)

"Hello class. I'm am here to tackle "anger management 101 section 7, 'suppressing your inner demons'. In this class we will look at tackling your anger through the power of communication."

Cammy-"yeah, good idea. Lets start with MY FIST 'COMMUNICATING' WITH VEGA'S FACE!!!" she yelled as she leapt for Vega, who was still wrapped up in his psycho uniform, screams muffled by his mask. 

Jin stopped her.

"Now now, (raking his brain for her name)…Cammy! That would be unfair; he's helpless after all!

"Just the way I like him!"

Chun-li giggled

Then she laughed

And then she let rip with laughter, rolling on the floor, crying from laughter while Jin concentrated on calming Cammy down. 

"So I take it you all know each other?"

"Nah Jin, Cammy just has a thing against people who copy her colour code and dress sense" snickered M.Bison.

Cammy snorted.

"well anyway, we are here to deal with the obvious rivalry you four share. Now lets begin properly…"

group 2 were not sure what to do with themselves when they were face to face with THE NEMESIS! (aka Gary).

"Oh my God…HESGONNAEATUS!!!!" screamed Balrog.

"Oh you think EVERYTHING is gonna eat us…" stated Sagat, remembering the nightmare they had shared, with the bunnies. That made him laugh! Then he remembered him and Vega-which made him shiver. 

"Excuse me sir…but are you our instructor?" Ken inquired, trying to steady his nerves and his voice as the others behind him flew into panic.

"Why yes, I am" said THE NEMESIS (aka Gary) in his deep, sexy voice. ("Oh my yes- I am a sick bunny!" CN)

"Before you would have had reason to fear me-as I was bad and vengeful yelling S.T.A.R.S at every opportunity. Well in fact I was doing that because I didn't know Jill's name and I wanted to ask her to dinner. They all called me 'THE NEMESIS' but you can call me…Gary.

("Well you have to admit-he may not be that attractive but he's got a nice voice hasn't he?" CN)

They all burst into laughter.

"What's so funny?" inquired Gary.

"You…are named GARY? HAHAHAHAHA…I just can't see it…" Said Ken

All the fighters received an angry glare from Gary in return.

They all shut their traps.

Gary continued…

Group 1 was still waiting for their instructor. In the absence of an instructor they decided to have a friendly match of basketball. Retrieving a ball from the storing cupboard behind the steel door separated from the actual court they divided themselves into 2 teams and went about putting up the nets. Team White Dragon consisted of Ryu, Blanka and Dhalsim, whereas team Black Tiger consisted of Fei-long, Guile and Deejay. The game began… 

The sun began to set over Anger management school 101 as screams from the room group 1 were residing in, basket ball hitting wooden floor from the sports hall group 2 were in, and the sound of marching from the playing field group 3 were on. 

What will happen next?

Who will win in the basketball competition?

How will group 2 cope with their instructor THE NEMESIS? (Now known as Gary)

And will Cammy get a chance to "makeover" Vega's face?

Find out in the next exciting episode of ANGER MANAGEMENT 101!!!! 

(P.S I need to ask- I was gonna have Sephiroth be the instructor for group 2 eventually, but I'm unsure about that now. I need you lovely sweet people to give me suggestions for the instructors! Remember-they have to be bad guys, and they need to be pretty famous as I don't know many of the characters you have suggested for my other fics. Thank you!)


	4. oh bloody hell-theres MORE INSTRUCTORS??...

ANGER MANAGEMENT 101 CHAPTER 4 

Unbeknown to group 2, who were 5 minutes into their basket ball game, they were being watched

by their 2 instructors. There was a lot of cursing going on between the two teams and especially between

Fei-long and Ryu-which the other members of the group was not sure whether it was serious or not.

"Geeze old man! You might have travelled then world, but you still cant put a ball in a hoop huh? I can't hate you for it though-they say the first thing to go at old age is your eyesight!"

"Yeah well-mr wannabe famous-your even cheesier than Van Damme! I thought your sporting skills might have made up for you bad acting but I guess you proved me wrong!"

And so an and so forth.

The two instructors chuckled evilly to themselves as they stepped out of the shadows.

The group took 2 minutes to stop their game and notice them

The instructors were similar in many ways

Both had long white hair in high ponytails, and crops of hair framing their faces.

Both wore uniforms of some kind.

Both carried long sharp similar shaped swords

Both were considered maniacs

Both really WERE maniacs

Both were skilled fighters

And both were at the court to teach the fighters.

And these instructors were…*C**E**N**S**O**R**E**D*…(sorry-you'll have to wait until later in the chapter to find out (_^!!!)

Meanwhile outside-the nemesis…oh sorry, I mean Gary, had begun teaching his group Tai chi.

"this will help you with finding inner peace…it will calm your anger and help you find balance internally and externally."

The fighters were really getting into this, they were all very calm and were enjoying the break they had from their excessive anger.

"This is great isn't it?"-Ken

"I cant remember the last time I felt this good"-E Honda

"I used to do this when I was young, I dunno why I stopped doing it"-Sagat

In fact this group were doing very well…

Unlike group 3

Jin had the fighters facing each other. 

Cammy was facing Vega and

Chun-li was Facing Bison

"Ok fighters. I know that the people you are looking directly at now are those you consider your enemies-"

Cammy glared angrily at Vega.

"And I know that they might have hurt you in the past…"

Chun-li glared angrily at Bison

"But I want you to now try and find their inner beauty-see something nice in them."

They all turned their confused and puzzled faces to Jin as if to say "what the F-

"Now come on-just give it a try…"

"What the-listen-Jon, I dunno what sickly sweet universe you are from-but do you REALLY expect us to suddenly be nice to each other, after the HELL THESE TWO *(*)(&*^&^%$£"^((&$£"!!! HAVE PUT US THORUGH?!"

"You think **I** haven't experienced pain because of people? My own grandfather USED ME, he had some dodgy dealings with my parents-in fact I think he KILLED them. SO DON'T GIVE ME THAT CRAP OK! AND THE NAME'S **JIN** NOT JON!"

Chun-li's eyes almost fell out of her head she was so shocked. 

"Ok-lets try again…inner beauty…look into their eyes…"

Vega's eyes were the only part of him Cammy could see he was still attached to that wheelie-thingy. He looked more psychotic than usual.

Bison tried not to giggle (bloody hell-he can giggle?!) as his eyes had wondered to a more interesting part of chun-li's anatomy that were NOT her eyes but were a pair of something else.

He promptly received a booted heel in the crotch.

Bison howled with pain.

Cammy smiled-as so did Vega but no one could see.

Jin slapped his forehead and sighed in despair.

"lets try something else…"

"Excellent game group" said the first instructor that emerged from the shadows.

"Yes this will be a good opportunity to see who you fair in each other's company," said instructor two.

"Hey-who are you guys?"

"Let me introduce myself-I am HYO, I am at the moment the president of a school of fighters. But I have been having trouble with a couple of RIVAL SCHOOLS so I have come here to get a break"

"And my name is SEPHIROTH. I have been brought back to life-but have been warned this is the FINAL time this reincarnation will happen. It's a shame. I was in a nice FANTASY life when I was dead…I was in a little cottage and I had SEVEN little chocobo's."

" but anyway-ON WITH THE GAME ^_^ we wanna see how you do." Said Sephy baby…ugghhh-I mean sephiroth as the fighters continued their game. 

It was short-but I'm just getting back into writing ok? CN-(_0

PS-just want you readers to know-that I do actually like Jean Claude Van damme. (Yeah yeah I know what your thinking-but he's all right really. Well…he's got a nice ass (_^ )

NEXT TIME IN ANGER MANAGEMENT 101…

Err…I don't know because I haven't written it yet-but I'll make sure its good!


End file.
